Grace

I have often thought of the innability to accept grace, love, acceptance etc. as being a different problem from that of selfishness. However, I was reading a bit of a book by Philip Yancey (one of my favorite writers, pick up one of his books and tell me what you think) called "What's so Amazing About Grace?" and from many quotable phrases, i pulled the following one out for you:

"We live in an atmosphere choked with the fumes of ungrace. Grace comes from outside, as a gift and not an achievement. How easily it vanishes from our dog-eat-dog, survival-of-the-fittest, look-out-for-number-one world."

Consider this. I have been prone to self-serving-ness in this "dog-eat-dog" world. Why? Because i want to do it without God? Because of Pride? Because I think I am the only means to my ideal life? Perhaps also because at the heart i don't want to trust and I can't bear to lean. Truly, I'm afraid. I struggle with accepting his hand, his love, his grace. If I could accept, then maybe this striving would cease to matter. Everything I have could be swallowed with the liberated appetite that accompanies a free meal. Guilt free. Grace.