Well, its new years eve again.

I’m back on the farm. I finished off the classwork for this degree I’ve been working on, so I’m taking care of the homestead ‘till the bosses come back in a few weeks.

Then, I’m not sure.

Its new years eve and I don’t think I’ll be up ‘till midnight. Got my first day back on it tomorrow. Lots I’ll want to do.
Hopefully I’ll get to do some reading and some writing along the way. Hopefully work on music.

Then, I’m not sure.

Its been gorgeously fantastic weather. I went hiking on the West Coast with a classmate from Alberta And had to remind them that it was December. The skies clear. The days beginning to get longer again. I’ll be here for a month likely.

Then, I’m not sure.

I’ve been dreaming of journeying for a long time; finding camaraderie on the open road or pilgrim’s trail. Do you have to know why you’re leaving? I won’t likely have lots of extra money, but I consider myself blessed to have got through my degree without much debt. I’ve romanticized just taking my backpack and walking out my door. “It’s a dangerous thing walking out your front door” said Bilbo Baggins, “You never know where your feet might take you.” I’ll be thinking about some options over this month.

Cause I’m not completely sure.

I’ve been thinking about heading south, finding a bit of warmth for a while, hopefully finding some new experiences, different people, time to hike and time to mull.
I’m not sure, But sure enough, and that’s good enough
For me.
For now.

By Grace.

Cause I'm not completely sure.

111

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This is honey off a knife's blade
Berries through the thorns
All we saw was your metaphysics
Show my my death,
and I'll show you Yours

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Say you've got, only so many days
all your choices supposed to be crucial
boiled down to moments
of impulse or rage
do you run
or do you stay

in the camp or out
into the house or not?

To the things you've known
or to the things that dreams illuminated but never revealed?
to love known,
or fantasies unknown

into your rest or ramble?
Into your love or theirs
Haven't you known it?
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If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid.
But See the movie had it wrong
we were supposed to shape our own lives by decisions
In a panoply of decisions
Co-creators the epistle said
More like Cusack in say anything than in serendipity… why?
‘cause you know what you want rather than waiting to be told,
relieving that anxiety. Bravery is striking out into the night with a firm grasp on reality and hope.
but not the hope in someone else's fantasy... To co-create a destiny which is probably unlike every meaning of that word we’ve ever had constructed for us.

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Waiting for something to happen
The walls to fall
or the tide to come

Waiting's not always passive
Though maybe i could do more than this

something to anticipate
to just need
a little

quiesence on a shoulder of the sun coming up.

Reason to rise
beyond
a known repetition
so


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Its not always just that things can be so damn sorrowful

Its that we deal it

And we deal it alone

And even when i know you don't have to.
And you do too,

Inches apart
We're acres away

afraid as the silence
As the pain
a word away
and stuff it up with noise

The most sorrow blazed in caustic feathers, till they, raindrenched and bloody
are all we see

two great motivators
ever remaining
till consumation breaks the fetter for the free
Fear and love
in silence and noise
fear or love
compel us.










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So When language divides,
We will confide,
Upon a harmony
Give me the tonic
And I'll reach for the Quintessence

Forgive me, I'm just a bit sentimental
Regimental exchange
Has divided our plays
To a sense of economy

Your eyes reprise
falling on my ledger
Pupils like notations