Somthing I wrote on Dec 24th

At The Edge Of Time

I was dreaming last night and in my dream I was drawn through a tunnel of space and time and blackness and light to a place where two angels stood in converse at the edge of time. One's name was Sadrel and he was the angel of the past and the present. The other was called Michel and he was a visionary. They existed in a place outside the frame of time and there they discussed in present tense that which was seen on the grid of elapsed mortal time from the awakening of the stars to the awakening of the dead.

"The one is entered today" quoth Michel out of the silence of space.

"quiet down!" answered Sadrel. "Lest the one who is alike to us in nature but unalike in purpose have strayed to this place to hear us!"

"Ai," answered Michel "No force of he's going to yet become the outcome. And the one you speak of is quite the same as us as to purpose. It is his nature that is fallen."

"Alas you fall over words which befall us both with their mortal riddles" Sadrel replied- a slight chuckle in his voice. "and the destinies and provinces of both men and angels is not ours to discuss- nay to play."

He paused.

"Ai," Michel said, as if to finish an oft quoted verse of Sadrel, "All we have is our own purpose, and our time, course and function to transcend"

"E'en to the end -dear brother on wings; and an adventure it is to have. Yea, such as the mortals play at."

"Hmm" Michel sighed thoughtfully.

They stared for several moments more to stare into what in my dream I could not see. Then they conversed further.

"Look now!" it was Sadrel this time. "How his followers and devotees have taken after him with such love! Look at how now they face death... imprisonment....torture." Sadrel's eyes maintained an intense fix on the space as he paused between words- as if waiting for a new slide on a camera slide reel.

"Some of these have a better idea of what it is to live than do we." Michel added carefully.

"Oh death" he quoth on,

"should I know thee

would I know life more full.

Oh Mortality- to understand

Conceive of His Foreverness?"

He paused for a moment in timelessness.

"But now these ones cling so loosely to his identity. Their devotion is mingled as a cocktail of juices- pleasing at a sip but spiteful in result. "

"Don't judge them yet," Sadrel answered, "I see their reaching for the law and even their principles of his own, but this convergence of the world isn't enough to throw them out yet."

"I wonder if He agrees"

"hmm"

As they stood there, standing still with particles of timelessness quivering as paused in precision I saw as if they both reached out their hands- or their minds toward what I could not see. Sadrel seemed to do so carefully and willfully while I thought I caught a glimpse of joy and a tinge of eagerness in Michel's eye and breadth of reach.

In that moment a blueish - though dreams be hard to describe- significant light flashed as if to light up every microbe or particle which held the essence of nothing and blackness in submission and acknowledgment to the one who reigned over even their domain. The light flashed omnidirectional around the angelic beings as bits of their white garments sometimes caught the light and flashed and lit up thier features. And when their eyes were hit by this light I could see deeply into thier expression- beyond opinion, duty and will into a deeper resolve which I would name Hope.

Is it possible for angels to doubt?

Sadrels eyes glanced down and then up, and then across again to his comrade and broke that element of serenity.

"I can't help calling this the end of the beginning, brother."

"Forgive me, but I hardly play," Michel continued, "at that this is but the beginning of the end..."

But in that moment, thought these words seemed good to me I saw in the meeting of these two pairs of eyes that they understood that also to be somewhere unsatisfactory- at least to them. I held on to hear their resolve.

"So it begins,"

"The ultimate finale."

And in that moment, these two beings- having stored and worked side by side for a period we can not measure in mortal years- spoke in unison;

"It is the beginning of the beginning."

I woke in as peaceful a start as is possible. And morning light was coming through the blinds.

Peace on earth eh?

An interesting note:
In Luke 2:14 the heavenly host says the following,

"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
(NIV)
We like to think of Christmas as a time of peace and peaceful ideals. However, I think that this verse doesn't imply that Christmas will bring about peace in all our idealistic terms.

in Matthew 10:34-36 Jesus says the following:

"Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn
" 'a man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her motherinlaw—
36a man's enemies will be the members of his own household.'"
^(NIV)
(note: The word "peace" in both passages come from the same word)

In addition- i think there are some Christ- imposed principles that uphold the family, but why should we think that Christmas -and EMANUEL- means a time when we all get along. I realize that these are hard words that even I don't fully know the measure of. But the point stands doesn't it? Christ doesn't make everyone get along.
I've been hearing of a new movie this season that seems to be a very real rendering of the nativity story. I'm excited to go see this movie, but I don't expect it to bring everyone together to agree that there is something special about Jesus. If anything, I expect (and even desire, dare I say it) that it will draw the lines clearer. Jesus brought division. Jesus was an object of controversy and/or trouble from the beginning. By bearing his identity were (and are) martyrs killed. In an attempt to destroy him were babies/tots murdered (Matthew 2:16.) And yet he came for a great purpose.
He is reality. He is Truth. He is the life giver, the Redeemer, the Savior of the world and indeed the devine and worthy and incomprehensible Son of God Almighty - to whom be glory forever and ever.
Amen.

Are we Atroctisizing Christmas?

It seems that when Christmas rolls around it means something new. A couple years back it was recognizing the contrasting meaning of Christ behind the intoxication of marketing. This year is somewhat similar thus far. I'm finding myself asking if calling this whole thing "Christmas" is really an atrocity to the name of "Christ". I know that Christmas, like probably half of the other holidays on our "Christian" calendars, is pagan in orgin and -though redeemed for Christian celebration-is still fused with various other cultural elements. I have no problem with many of these elements being there. I am a faller for culture and I think that there are many backgrounds that can contribute to the cultural richness of the season. I also recognize that to the business world (again, like most any other such holiday) the Holiday Season is an opportunity to market it up. It could be partially for this adaptation and partially for the cultural diversity that we tend to stick the name "Christmas" to all of it generally. Some people object to creating a substitute for the name (i.e. "Happy Hollidays!") but note this: if people don't celebrate my reason for the season then why should I put my name upon it. Is it out of a desperate sense that I am loosing what I once claimed as my own?

Back to the essence part 3

It really comes comes back down to Love. That incredible force that gives paupers hope and brings kings to kneel in humility.
It seems that in the whelm of doctrine and progression or life and passiveness I have a strange tenancy to loose sight of this central point of love.

What is the most important commandment?
(Mark 12:29-30)
"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God,
the Lord is one.^[e] Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul
and with all your mind and with all your strength.'^{[f]- (NIV)}

And what does love look like?
(1 Corinthians 13:6-7, 13)
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through
every circumstance...

13 Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of
these is love."
(NLT)

Hardcore.

Bible College?

So, why might it be that when we see potential in a young person to be a firey alive Christian in a dark world (where their demographic of young adults is varied in their belief systems and aparthided from the church) that we say, "You should go to Bible college?" Bible college? The place where you will spend 4 years apart from those who will have by that time likely made up thier mind on issues of ehtics and the worthwhileness of Christ? Bible college? The place where you can settle down nicely and simmer in passivity?
Does this make sence to you? Comment and be retaliatory if you want; it's ok.

Back to the Essence Part 2

So, If we are going to throw our lives headlong into God's hands, it might be suggested that we had better know what we're doing.
I had been thinking what an ultimate risk it is to do it. When you come down to the crunch, It's you giving your life up for somone you really havn't completely figured out yet. But I think now that it would be better defined as the "Ultimate Trust".
It is this reason that I believe discipleship or some knowledge of God is reasonably proper for somone before they take this leap. (Lest, dare I say it, their relationship be shallow or rediculous.) Yet, there is most certainly a feeling of risk within trust.
This Jumping in Ultimate trust is a thrill I've experienced 100% unfailable thus far. Plus, it's one crazy ride.

Back to the essence Part 2.2
I guess that last part is unnecessary reason again, since I feel that part of trust is letting go of what I know to be shurefire in a physical sense. The difference is not acting on account of what I know about life, but what I know about God. Life could be any mixture of wonderful and horrific occurances, but the point is that this reality shouldn't really matter. The focus needs to come off of me and on to him. I can't be the receiver in a one way love relationship! I like what Paul says as a statement of response to Jesus' act of love in Philippians 3. Paul presses "on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."(NIV)

In Matthew 10:39 Jesus says the following:
"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. "(NIV)
(It's this emptying of myself that I've found myself facing. I must find my life by losing it. I must trust in God and face his definition of "life".)

a short interlude in memory

Up 'till even now I've had a sense of pride in my old Panasonic Discman. It's had it's stories of when it should have up and died and the headphones I got with it originally are now worn and beaten and just recently began to break down more considerably. This diskman has been to Britan, Ukraine, The Philippines if not Mexico as well. It had served many purposes, most recently as a study aid to me at college. When everyone else have been walking around with thier MP3 players and ear buds they sometimes stop to chuckle at my tenancy toward an older unit. But I have endured their false scorn to the force that this diskman that had brought me this far would continue to bear my use. It has been thrashed and bashed and used and abused for a number of years and even as i went out the door tonight I took the chance to speak on such once again.
I had just brutally dropped my Diskman (Perhaps I should name him something at this point, like Brutalis or Ol' Faithful) on the floor again. Checking it for damage it appeared to be working fine and I took the opportunity to share with my room mate the fortitude of my unit. And as I walked out the door I stated something to the effect of "It'll be used 'till the day it dies." Final last words.

Yes, as much as a sorrowful and ironic twist this is, I must share that no sooner had I begun to walk away that I realized that the old standby was not functioning and that a small piece in it's spinning mechanism had broken use.

The Old Standby is no more.
(Save a nearly functional piece of equipment that could yet be proved as value as a coffee cup holder, laser pointer etc. )

But it is nice to have a piece of equiptment that lasts.

Where do I go from here? Into the market for an MP3 player. Hopefully one that can live up to the name "reliable".

Anyone have one for sale?

Back to the Essence Part 1

I have been implored to post somthing- so here's what I hope to be the beginning of a short series that was sticking in my mind lately:

It seems that I came to the reality that God had a plan to use my passions for his purposes. Then it seems that I started to call the passions my own and make "my" plans, because God wanted it for me. Subtle shift perhaps- maybe not even a big deal. However, once and a while somthing throws your perspective back into place. Do you ever have those moments? Mine came when somone else's life flew out of the influence of my hands.
Life as we know it in the physical, hangs by little more than a beating heart and functioning brain- both of which can stop in an instance given the proper inclination. Yet we live on and call our lives our own. Untill we are reminded that we are but man.
So I was taken back to the essence. Back to the place where I sing songs about giving my heart, my life, and my dreams to God and meant it. Because despite what God wants to do with my life, be it coherent with my will or not, the essence of the matter is that I give it to him first and formost.
It's a surrendering that I'm willing to watch the outcome of: I commit my life to you.

Perhaps worth your time

I just clicked on a MSN Hotmail article featured on a window today. It had to do with global warming, and that being an interest of mine, I found a button to watch a movie on the article. Since movies are easier and more culturally applicable (ha ha) than reading, i took this avenue and soon found myself watching our very own Gary Lunn speaking on enviromental issues. Want to get a look at what Mr. Lunn has to say? You're link is below:

http://news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca/TopStories/ContentPosting.aspx?feedname=CTV-TOPSTORIES_V2&newsitemid=CTVNews%2f20061030%2fglobal_warming_061030&showbyline=True

I suppose it was during one of my first Hermeneutics classes that a scary thought hit me.

Let me set up the stage for you with an explanation of the class of Hermeneutics. Hermeneutics is, simply, the study of the Bible. When that name refers to the class I was in, then it, perhaps means, "the study of the study of the Bible." It apparently comes from the Greek word for "to interpret." Hermes was a character, or god of mythology who would take messages from Jupiter to the people. Using this analogy, Hermeneutics is, in some way, a medium that helps to translate between one philosophy, history, culture, and language, of one time (Bible times) to another (the present). Through the lense of Hermeneutics we must carefully examine the Bible to find out what it really says, lest some meaning perhaps be lost or changed in the influenced, prejudiced, etc., interpretation we make.

The scare came when I got a sense of what duty of responsibility I had in this knowledge of Hermenuetics.

James 3: 1-2
“ 1Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check.” (NIV)

Luke 12:47-48
47"That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. 48But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” (NIV)

Suddenly this class was no joke! What had I gotten myself into? Would I now have a stronger responsibility to study and figure out the Bible for other's benefit? Before I enrolled in this class I could easily enough shrug off what I didn't understand from the Bible with the best explanation or suggestion I had, or pass it off to someone else, or say "I don't know, but that's a good question." Now- now that I’m more equipped, I seem to have no good excuse for NOT looking deeper. If I say something wrong, will I no longer be excused, but now have to answer for it (since I haven’t used the portion of my ability?) Will my far-out thoughts now be ignorant if I don't bother to look deeper to find out if that's what the Biblical text actually means?
Probably.
Maybe there is a deeper issue than this going on though. Perhaps the following is a better question: am I afraid that God won't be all I want to interpret Him to be if I start finding the genuine raw truth and not just my lazy, culture-stricken take-what-I-want interpretation? Is this presumption possible? Or will I - and I believe that this is true - find more about God -the true God I know and desire to know better- as I dig into the truth about him? How can I be satisfied with mediocrity anymore? I'll want the truth.
I believe the truth is the best option, partially because it is genuine, and therefore dominant to any invention of our own intellect. Secondly, I believe that I’ll find it to be better on the whole than any other option anyways- I suppose you could say - even if the other options were true. I haven’t searched this out deeply, so I don’t presume to know or teach, but it seems that calling Jesus, "the Truth" makes a lot of sense. He really is the most real, best thing ever.

But now if I have gone and poured my heart out about something which I really don't know everything about, what can I say? Where can I draw a line? Is it OK if I stand in front of you and presume NOT to teach? What I say on this blog, what standard will that be held to? Where can I sacrifice formality for radicalism? Where should I weigh extremisms with a standard?
(Should I remove myself from culture entirely in order to be unhindered in my cultural bias’?)
Then again, think on this. The outflow of my heart, which you might find in my poetry and songwriting, might not be 100% theologically sound, but I don't imagine I need to sacrifice artistic elements either. The Psalms, as a Biblical example, boasted plenty of these. While the outflow of my heart might be truth to me, that is, the truth about how I feel; the words are more likely to find themselves theologically grounded as I pursue truth. Even now as God’s Spirit is in me (1 Cor 6-16.) What about David, who somebody (who?) has called a man after God’s own heart (Check out 1 Samuel 7). Could it be that as he pursued the truth of God (Fighting the Giant wasn't quite a reinterpretation of the fact the God would be with him- even against such odds) his psalms, therefore came out of his heart, beautifully OK. I think that this would be because he was in-tune with God's heart. What I suggest is that if I refuse to compromise to any cultural medium ( to my utmost) in discovering the truth of God- and as God shows me more on my journey, my artistic expression and emotional flow will be based in truth. My expectation, I will add, is that the truth will be the most applicable, most powerful and dynamic artistic subject and draw for emotional expulsion; I imagine it as being relatable, down-to-earth, while yet superceding all else untouchably. These are just predictions based from my experience thus far.... But life's a journey; stay tuned, and find truth!

This blog

Large-scale launch of this blog may not occur untill mid-December /06. But please stay posted for anything that might come between now and then.

Yours,
M C