Drop my Iron

You know what stinks about being a Christian in our society?
Sometimes its the best thing ever. It means we can have freedom of speech and expression and hold congregational meetings reaching into the thousands without overt persecution. It allows for us to share our faith in a country that often as not encourages morality and where we can build our empires without having a governmental system tear them down to equality.
Sometimes it sucks. I find that i become so comfortable in my self-indulgence and convenience that i start thinking that somehow i built the wash machine that cleans my clothes. My race is self sufficient and powerful and democratic which makes us all gods. Praying for the meal sometimes makes me feel ridiculous because i think, "what am i thanking God for. I paid for this meal. I cooked it. Why are we giving the credit to God?" On the flip side, when something goes wrong we have ourselves to blame.

I know. Stupid right? I don't need to explain why... According to James every good and perfect gift comes from God. More elementally- he created me, this world, and the plot of land that i was born on. Its just dangerously easy to fall into this self-worshiping mentality.

In a few months I'll be getting on a plane (according to plans) so as to live for 6 or more months in a impoverished society. For 6 months i will have the opportunity to change my world view and maybe keep it for a while upon re-immersion to a 1st world state. When I'm there i will be praying for the food- that it doesn't make me sick. I will be thanking for the food- because i will see others who have to fight for it. I will be grateful for my health- for i will see others who's health keep them from their full potential and yet they tarry on. I will be conscious of my upbringing- that handed me everything from education to opportunity on a silver platter. But will I truly, here or there, learn to give up and Die to myself.

This is the crux, I believe. Jesus doesn't want half of us or most of us. We are better off giving all of us. I won't pretend that its not like loosing everything you've ever learned to lean on, but I'm starting to think that that was all a crutch anyways.
We live in a society that worships security. If we have enough money, asset and investments; If we have enough friends, debtors and dependents; If we have military and freedom and capitalism; If we have a self sufficient homestead with enough stores built up for Armageddon and enough television to help us forget that we're all gonna die someday anyways; then we are OK.

I'm not saying its a bad idea to plan ahead, but depending on your plans is a little different. There is always the element of unpredictability that proves that we are in fact not in control. If those things spin in our favor- we call it our luck. if they spin from our favor we blame God. If we're smarter than that we realize that we are but mortals.

I guess what I'm getting at is that its time to give up- to surrender- my rights to a new system. Dying to the mortality in the hand of divinity. Its not all about me here.